The final Throwback Thursday of this year’s February Photo Fest. The month has gone by so quickly! I first shared this photo last May as a Bank Holiday Bumday on Twitter. Here now is the black and white version.
These days vagary is most commonly used when we talk about the vagaries of a situation, meaning an unpredictable or erratic occurrence. But the etymology of the word is vagari, the Latin word for wander.
This weekend’s subject is @lovelustlondon. This coming Wednesday he’ll be joining club 40 and he should be enjoying a vagari in Tibet but due to the vagaries of 2020 he’s not!
This shot was taken a few years ago when we took an early morning walk in Richmond Park. We are going to do a new shoot for his 40th but much like a lot of 2020 it’s on hold until 2021. When spring rolls around we’ll take a day trip somewhere out of the city and get some truly celebratory shots, but until then you can feast your eyes on this one!
I was due to have a play date on the afternoon of Tuesday 17th March. When we planned it I thought it would be the perfect activity for getting over the Eroticon comedown and that I’d be sharing stories of the weekend with my friend. In reality, I was self-isolating having started to show symptoms over the weekend. He was also feverish and isolating. In lieu of having actual me that day I snapped a photo for him. It was a good photo so I also sent it to Exhibit A and American Chap. I didn’t know then that I’d started a ‘thing’. A thing that would last 122 days – exactly one third of this crazy fucking leap year.
I scrolled back to the messages that went alongside that first photo. A jokey chat about imagining what it would be like to not kiss another human for months on end and how ridiculous that would be. Me shout typing: “IMAGINE THE EPIC TENSION IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO FUCK FOR WEEKS.” Him: “OMG, fucking after that would be phenomenal!” It seemed like a crazy notion at the time.
Six days later the UK went into full lockdown. It would be nearly three months before he and I saw each other again. We were right though. The tension was epic and the sex was phenomenal. Not-getting-past-the-hallway-pulling-clothes-off phenomenal. My reunions with him and with Exhibit A are not providing me with any strong evidence that a sustained absence is bad for chemistry!
I have absolutely bloody loved this project. It’s been a creative red thread through the strangest of times and a way to keep a part of myself alive while I couldn’t actually be with people. An unexpected benefit has been how completely confident I have become in how attractive my body is, to me and others. I always talked the talk; I often didn’t walk the walk. But it’s hard to not to be reassured about how hot you are when you take a daily nude for four months and receive numerous messages of lust and encouragement.
I think we can all agree that lockdown is really fucking strange. Sometimes a day feels like a week, other times a week feels like a day. Is it really six weeks since I last kissed or hugged another person? In truth it doesn’t feel that long because in many ways I feel more connected to the people who are important to me than ever before.
Saturday coffee mornings with my Mum and Aunt, Friday night pub with some of my oldest dearest friends, weekly lunches with a group of brilliant fellow consultants who offer professional solidarity and friendship. Because of video chat I’m actually seeing some people far more frequently than I would in the normal course of things. Of course, Zoom will never replace the joy of being in the same room as your loved ones, hugging them, cwtching up on the sofa, sitting in companionable silence, but at the moment it’s allowing us to still come into each other’s lives and homes.
Another thing that’s increased is my photo taking. As I approach day 40 of my photo a day project I can’t believe that 28 (or 29!) days of photos for February Photo Fest ever felt like a long time. This project continues to delight me (and the recipients, I think!) and even on the days I curse it because I’m busy with work or the photos are not coming out as I want them to I am still relishing the daily creative endeavour.
I’ve never been someone who needs or wants daily contact with partners and lovers and I’m sure once this is over we’ll all slip back into less frequent contact but while I’m home alone the daily contact is part of my landscape of joyful things. I love the positive messages (sometimes horny growly ones, sometimes thoughtful ones about the photo merits) and photos that come back to me. It might not surprise you to hear that the photo below resulted in more horny growly messages, but I’m really happy with the photo merits too!
Having an extra day in February really messes with having four themed weeks doesn’t it? But then @19syllables reminded me of my trampolining photos from last summer. Hurrah! So here I am leaping for joy at our extra day! Shame the sky doesn’t look like this today!
Thank you to everyone who has commented on and shared and laughed along with my sometimes ridiculous photos. And biggest thanks to all the participants in my February Photo Fest for getting so enthusiastically involved – I definitely couldn’t have done it without you! <cue the the music> <dabs eyes>
Wednesday was naughty netballer, today is awesome arse. I may not be tired of the photography but my title tank is running on empty. Day seven of sports week is baseball and for your viewing pleasure may I present the wonderful Exhibit A.
As you might expect from a sports junkie like EA, he had some pretty fab ideas for my sports week prompt. Some of which haven’t even been taken yet so who know, maybe there’ll be another sports week next year? As someone who truly thinks golf is the most boring game in the world I didn’t expect to have my mind changed but with some expert positioning he even managed to make that game super hot. One of the photos is being used for Kayla’s next Masturbation Monday prompt.
Then he knocked it out of the park with this one. I must confess, until a couple of days ago I was intending to use that photo because it’s so amazing I wanted it on my site too. But I was overlooking a couple of others we shot at the same time so in the spirit of sharing as much of that day’s productivity as possible, here’s a new photo for you to admire.
Interdependency: the quality or condition of being interdependent, or mutually reliant on each other.
Just three more days of February Photo Fest left and what a daft month it’s been here on Exposing40. Normally by the end of February I’m hanging out for it to all be over but not this month – I’m really going to miss it!
Maybe this is because I was organised (all bar one photo was taken by the end of January) but actually I think it’s because it’s been so much bloody fun posting the photos every morning and laughing at all the responses to them through the day.
This month was without doubt entirely dependent on the sense of humour and goodwill of my friends. Exposing40 would not be what it is without joyful collaboration. I hope all the people who grace these pages know they can depend on me and this little space for continuing ridiculous antics and rambunctious celebration of bodies.