I’ve written before about now much I like the downtime in long lazy afternoons of fucking. This photo was taken during one of those moments. Not this week; this week there was some filthy filming which will remain private and a very silly photo that may one day be used here for no reason other than it fully showcases my fat belly and I like it anyway. Progress.
This photo was actually taken back in June but I look at it often. I like the comfortable intimacy of it and it reminds me of how calm and content I feel in those moments. Calmness very much feels like the defining hallmark of this friendship. Well, that and the fantastic not-at-all-calm sex!
This hasn’t been the easiest of periods to live through, even for those of us lucky enough to not find the lockdowns traumatic. Aside from just coping with the pandemic and keeping a business alive through it, there’s been stuff in my personal life that I’ve needed to work through and make peace with. My monthly hangouts with this man are such a source of joy and happiness. Occasionally the ghosts of past relationships will rise up and fire a dose of insecurity into our conversations but again, that word calm springs to mind. No yawning silences or recriminations, just quiet reassurance or kind deflection of whatever is unsettling me.
Nurturing casual commitment-free partnerships isn’t always an easy thing to do well. When neither of you have any interest in the relationship escalator but you also know you like hanging out and making plans it can feel like a fine line to tread. At least it does to me, sometimes. But I think he and I are doing very well at it. Healthy communication and a good balance of time just the two of us mixed up with planning for future filthy fun adventures. It’s a part of my life and a dynamic that I value so much and, as I’ve mentioned, makes me feel so very calm.